Comeback is Real – BetterHelp.Com and Getting Back to Blogging

Fabulous day to everyone.

As you can see, this would be my first post since August of 2016. So, I have been inactive for over a year now. A lot has happened to me since my last post, both positive and negative things. I stopped studying, got a job, saved a few bucks, went into a relationship, switched residential address and more importantly I diminished my anxieties among other things. My anxiety was the very foundation of this blog. This was my release.

Now almost 2 year later since Dysthymia Arrhythmia, I’m getting my hands back to wipe off the dust in Of Minds & Music. Sure, I have lost all momentum that I built back then. I might have a hard time gaining back the thousands of views I got in 2016, but that was never the point of this blog anyways. The views did however, made me feel like someone out there was listening; that people were listening. And I’m very thankful for everyone who gave this blog a glimpse.

Anyways, enough of the drama. I just want to tell you why I’m back in blogging. It’s not just due to my anxiety anymore. Although, it still exists, but it’s manageable. Probably just due to the day-to-day stress. The main reason I’m back to this site is because of BetterHelp.Com. One of the admins from BetterHelp contacted me through email starting last December. Unexpectedly, they stumbled across this blog and liked what they see. They told me I’ve portrayed anxiety, depression and mental illness in an interesting way, which was really flattering. Anyways, I’m gonna post more about BetterHelp.com on my next post here. If you’re wondering what their site is about, they’re one of the largest counseling platform. If you need help or know anyone who does, go check them out.

The second reason, I’m back is because I started a new blog. I created another wordpress site that is about food and travel. Having a job has its perks and over the past year, I have consistently been to places (mostly restaurants and beaches) together with my girlfriend. She encouraged me to start a new blog since I have some spare time and to put our exploits to some use. So just days ago I launched Chew and Wander. It’s not much yet. It’s still on the rise and most probably, the ones who would find the blog beneficial would just be audiences in the Philippines; but if you’re from elsewhere you enjoy looking at unfamiliar territories and food pics you might want to give my new blog a view.

So there you have it. Here’s to a radiant new beginning. I’ll be posting some new poems in the next following day. I’m hoping for your continued patronage. I wasn’t really under the assumption that you’d care for this, but since you’ve been reading up to this point, then I’m kind of thinking now that you do. Because of that, I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wish you good luck with your endeavors.

If you yourself have a blog, feel free to comment your blog down below and me and my friends will make sure to check it out.

Peace!

Dysthymia Arrhythmia

Photo credits to abstractionnation

Hey there! the stranger from yesterday
I’ll take your services to end my disarray
What? You ran out of receipt?
Well stay instead, cause you’re in for a treat

Sorry mate,
but I sold my soul for cheap,
Will you still stay when there’s nothing that you can keep?
Just put it on my tab,
Add an interest to that
I’ll pay you in full when I get out of rehab

Let’s eat!
The bestseller is bloodmeat
A dish best served for cold hearts and stuttering feet
Then take a sip on their float,
Til’ our intestines bloat,
And let’s end this evening on a high note

I’ll spill my guts, literally on you
Cause I took a bite, a bit more than I can chew
Your words are poison, a taste I knew before
But the antidote’s out, so I’m begging for more

Use a bludgeon in my mouth
The words are stuck from fear and doubt,
If I expectorate my madness,
Will you decipher what it’s about?

Had I kept my pace faster, would time for sleep be enough?
Now all I’ve become is a false diamond in the rough

*So I’ll scour you with stone,
Rip the mask that you’ve shown,
Why can’t you live in my heart
And leave my poor head alone

Tar stains accumulate,
Anxious thoughts promulgate,
I’ll write your eulogy in this piece of blank slate
And in return,
Write my name in an urn
Restrain me inside when I finally crash and burn

I injected apathy in an attempt to disengage,
But mission failed, I’m declining with age

End this racketeering
Bullsh*t beckoning
Can’t you see that this is my reckoning
Disturb someone else’s sleep,
Cure my insomnia
You’re just a product of my worsening dysthymia

* Supposed to be the chorus (but shortened). This is another song-turned-poem of mine.

Been out for a month due to busy schedule and sh*t. But unbelievably, I’m still getting some peekers. So, thank you!! 🙂 

A Kid Again

 

 

Like a snap of a finger
My childhood gone the morning after
The dark clouds started to pour
And washed my heart’s grandeur

Before, I always play
Now, In my dark room I stay
Back then, we used to bond
Now, horrors of life to me has dawned

From the swaying of the swing
to answering every ring
From balancing in the seesaw
to condemning my every flaw

From running in the hills
to chugging down the pills
From enjoying the mountain breeze
to being down on my knees

From fearing the roar of thunder
to fearing one another
From playing under the sun
to hiding from everyone

From playing hide and seek
to having a busy week
From wanting all the candy
to having greed of money
If I could turn back time
I’d give away my every dime
It’s getting hard to take in
Just wanna be a kid again

-The Demented

 

This poem is a response to the daily prompt: 
Childhood

A Maiden’s Affliction

Her high-pitched scream reaches my ears,
And every bone in my body shivers
She made a home inside my head
So I’ll write her every whisper

Her black lipstick matches the color of her heart
Like the effervescent still waters
Stitches in her skin are like art
And the scars were finishing touches

She eats makeup just to stay skinny
And puts laxatives in her face
She’ll pull the trigger anytime
But she’d rather just sit and wait

The tips of her nails, she bites and chews
But she barely touches her food
She has friends in her front
But none on her rear, just knives already glued

Wrapped around her neck the constricts of society,
and a weight left on her shoulder
For every dream she had, and every man who broke her heart
a bruise left as reminder

Tongues like daggers everywhere
and eyes like laser beams
She can’t go out without an armor
A figure to talk to and a box to dwell
is all she really clamors

-The DementED

Cheers to all the ladies going through the woes brought about by society. You’re beautiful. Please live on. 🙂

 

You might also wanna check out: The Voices Inside My Head – Why I Write

or related poems: A Date with the Dead, Hopeless, Not Romantic

A Date with the Dead

I have always wondered
If I could talk to the dead
Should I talk to the famous
Or to you instead?

I know you’re still breathing
And you still have a pulse
But are you really living,
when it’s everyone you repulse

Oh but I forgot,
I’m dead inside too,
I’m always alone
the same way as you

But unlike you,
I haven’t lost hope,
I don’t constantly choke
my neck with a rope

I have scars on my heart
You have more on your wrist
I have my palms open
But you have a closed fist

You barely even eat
You take pills just to slumber
And a love for yourself
you can’t even foster

But you see,
I just want to aid
I wish I could stop
your use of the blade

But I cant understand
cause you wont let me in
You throw my concerns
straight down to the bin

No I’m not saying
I know better than you,
But all I want
is a table for two

You pour your heart out
And I’ll spill my guts
We’ll tell all our tales
No matter how nuts

But since you already said,
that you’d rather be dead,
I’ll just keep on waiting
with anxiety and dread.

– The DementED

You might also wanna see a related poem: A Maiden’s Affliction, Hopeless, Not Romantic
Unconventional Love