A Learned Behavior

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I was drowning in morphine
It was getting darker and dusk was taking me away
I can’t control what I think,
Or control what I feel
But I can control what I say

And I’ve said nothing at all.

Sometimes the lies holds more morals than the truth
But I don’t want to lie to you
I just don’t want to tell everything,
Only the one’s you can chew

There’s just some things I refuse to feel
But I don’t need a savior
You call me desensitized
I say it’s just a ‘learned behavior’

But in the end, I do feel, and I wish I felt nothing at all

Maybe because I’m afraid of the fall,
I fell several times but nothing prepares you for the comedown
So why should I expect anything less now,
Only to see a letdown?

But they say there’s beauty in the fall,

My vision gets knocked, and my chest bruised
Right now, the only vision that remainsĀ  is the vision of you
If anything is beautiful at all, it’s all your fault
So I blame you

But I was told to tread lightly
Not everything that glitters is gold,
But if at times it is, and gold doesn’t rust
Are you finally that someone whom I can trust?

There’s no safety in that gamble.
No guides or precautions, no preamble.

But maybe I dont need to be safe
Cause maybe I don’t run on blood but adrenaline
And I don’t want to be held back or do nothing,
So I have to go all-in.

But will you light me afire if I was gasoline?

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An Encounter with the Dream Reaper

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Credits to dandwiki

There’s a story hidden
Inside the confines of my flesh
Constructs of reality
And fantasies that don’t mesh

It’s a dream
and it’s getting out of hand
Like an outrageous breakdown
From a sick metal band

But lo and behold,
This world ain’t kind to dreamers
Back then I wasn’t told
That most dreamers turn to weepers

Cold-blooded brethrens
Try to stab you in the back
Judgmental eyes
Try to slag the things you lack

Therefore, I thought
That this old dream is done
My hype and inspiration
Is now nearly gone

As I uttered these thoughts
A dark figure appeared
Came out of nowhere
His face kind of weird

I wasnt prepared
For the next things that occured
He opened a portal
as he uttered the words

“Welcome to the place
where dreams come to die
Just end them now
And no need to vie for lies

No need to tell yourself
That anything is possible
No one believes that
Except the fool and the gullible

The real world is harsh
So evil and so blue
If you want to fit in
This place is perfect you

Forget all your dreams
It’s time to let go
They caused you nearly nothing
But trouble and woe”

As I thought it out,
I realized I wasn’t ready
I haven’t prepared  a
proper coffin and a eulogy

This is the dream
That defined me for years
No wonder I’m struck
And broke down to tears

When I thought it out,
This is not what I wanted
And so I refused
Left the figure dissapointed

I’ve never been an optimist
But this time I’ll try
For I’m good as dead too
If this dream comes to die